Sex Itself

When it comes to sex, everyone feels awkward at times: we do not want to seem inexperienced or insecure, and we worry about being rejected, misunderstood, or simply having a mediocre experience. Even talking things through with our partners often takes more courage than we have. But why are we so shy about talking about sex? Where do sexual fantasies come from, how do they help us, and can they really be divided into “normal” and “weird”? What do all these unfamiliar words mean — “rubbing,” “toying,” “compersion” — and what practices lie behind them? How can we bring pleasure to ourselves and to another person? And how do we understand what we truly want ourselves?